Competition! Hooray!

For my birthday this week I decided to treat myself to a new cookbook.  I had a list of possible purchases in my mind when I walked into the bookshop but I walked out with none of them.  Instead I was drawn to The Flavour Thesaurus by Niki Segnet.

I vaguely remember seeing this book advertised or reviewed or written about somewhere earlier in the year and dismissing it as unnecessary as I already had Stephanie Alexander’s The Cook’s Companion.  Who needs another book pointing out good flavour combinations?  After spending 10 minutes flicking through The Flavour Thesaurus I decided that I might and having spent the last couple of days reading the book slowly and carefully (not even nearly finished) I can safely say that I do.  Utterly delighted with my purchase.  Sooooooo many ideas.  Sooooo many.  Love it.

Love it so much, I’d like to share it with one of you.  At a cost though.  You gotta make me smile.

Post a joke or nice story or witty insult or limerick or link or ANYTHING that might make me smile before 12 noon Tuesday, 19th October 2010.  My favourite (or a favourite picked by random judges if I can’t decide) gets a copy of The Flavour Thesaurus sent to them.

25 thoughts on “Competition! Hooray!

  1. It’s good to make people smile. And honestly, a random act of kindness makes ME feel great too. On the way home just now from a Green & Blacks book launch event, I sat on the tube next to a lady holding a pretty bouquet of lilies. I asked her whether they were for a special occasion and she said no, she’d just had a really stressful day at work and had got them to cheer herself up. When I got off a couple of stops later I dropped a couple of mini bars of chocolate on her magazine and said I hoped tomorrow was much better. I didn’t see her reaction, though she said a very surprised thank you, as I was stepping off the tube… but you know, whether or not it gives her a second’s extra smile tomorrow, it made me feel good!

  2. There was a young (ish) lassie called Wendy
    Whose legs were incredibly bendy
    She had a black dog
    That got lost in the fog
    But she found him, och aye the noo said Wendy.

    Oh dear I fear I may have blown my chances : )

  3. Ah I just added this to my amazon wishlist the other week. It looks like it’d be really inspiring and great for ideas when I’m staring at the cupboard and contemplating making yet another variation of meat braised in stock.

    There once was a cook out of luck
    Devoid of ideas he was stuck
    He longed for a book
    That would change his outlook
    and teach him what goes with a duck

  4. walking along the shore this week I noticed a lovely lollopy dog bounding towards me. As the dog jumped up on me his owbner was heard to remark “Don’t do that Steven”. Is it just me or does that make you laugh too? What a name for a dawg!

  5. “Anyone who eats three meals a day should understand why cookbooks outsell sex books three to one.”
    L. M. Boyd

    Kissing don’t last: cookery do!
    George Meredith

    A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness.
    Elsa Schiaparelli

    Any cook should be able to run the country.
    Vladimir Lenin

    So many good books, so many good tastes ~ I think I shall spend a lifetime enjoying them both ~ but which one first?

  6. There was a young lady called Wendy,
    who lived just outside Inversneckie.
    She cooked, wrote a blog,
    and loved Marco (her dog),
    and wore pink wellie boots – that’s our Wendy!

    What did the Spanish farmer say to his chicken?
    -Oh lay.

    And a question:
    Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

  7. I can never remember jokes but my favourite pithy saying of late comes from Dr Seuss:

    “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

  8. Hmm, can’t think of anything funnny, but I do like the look of the book, so I will have to hunt it down and see if I need it (ok, so I have made up my mind, just from looking at the cover that I need it ;o)


    Roo x

  9. I’ve aye got a lot of jokes to tell, but a joke’s not the same without facial expressions, tone etc.

    So, I’ll tell you about a funny story. I’m aye saying the wrong thing – so this is just one of many stories!

    I had to make a short speech a while ago. My introduction included a marvellous quote from Vines Expository Dictionary. So, I began my speech with great fervor, which lasted until I said: “According to Vine’s suppository…”

    I thought that nobody noticed, but the laughter told me otherwise.

    I tried to keep my composure, but my friend was in the audience and had turn the brightest red I’d ever seen and looked like she was on death’s door, as I think she stopped breathing.

    I couldn’t help but join in. I laughed so much that I had to give up completely!

    At least now, when I make any presentation, the audience always pays rapt attention.

    Hopefully you’ve enjoy my story.

  10. There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.
    One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address or postcode. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read:

    Dear God,
    I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.

    Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had £100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment. Next Sunday is my birthday, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope..
    Please help me?

    The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few pounds. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected £96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
    A few days later, another letter came addressed to God and in the same hand. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.

    It read:

    Dear God,
    How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?
    Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.

    By the way, there was £4 missing. I think it
    might have been those b******s at the post office.


  11. A Scots boy came home from school and told his mother he had been given a part in the school play.
    “Wonderful,” says the mother, “What part is it?”
    The boy says “I play the part of the Scottish husband!”
    The mother scowls and says: “Go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking part.”

  12. Have you ever heard a screech owl? (If you’ve seen “My Cousin Vinny,” you may remember the screech owl in the movie.) I live in a rural area in the US, and until recently we didn’t have any close neighbors. What happened the first time my husband left town for a week? A screech owl parked itself in a tree right next to my porch and screamed every hour or so all night long. It was hilarious when it wasn’t terrifying.

    Fast forward 5 years, to a day last week. The screech owl was back, but it was far enough away from the house that in our bedroom with the windows closed we couldn’t hear it. Our female cat could hear it, though, and every time it screeched, she screamed for a half hour afterwards. I finally figured out what was setting her off when I moved to her side of the house to try to comfort her. I seriously question her sanity. Nothing would calm her down either. She would seem to be relaxing, but then the owl would screech, and off she’d go again.

    Of course, she’s pretty vocal and seems to like imitating area animals. She’s got a feline version of coyote howl. She does the rooster across the road. And when we had goat neighbors, she baaaaaaa’d. If you don’t believe me, we were headed out of town and had to tell our friends who were staying in the house to expect all sorts of bizarre sounds from her. When we got home, the friends said that they hoped we wouldn’t think they were crazy, but was it just possible that the cat was trying to sound like a goat? Yep, she was.

    Too bad I can’t get her to do it on command.

    (Okay, did I make you smile just a little?)

  13. OK. Competition is now closed. Am contacting a guest judge for a second opinion as every entry made me smile. Winner announced tomorrow.
    Thank you to you all!!

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